Came back to the resort and did Cameron’s gym class. I love it. It makes me happy running between weight machines, creating my own cardio intervals and not carrying at all how silly I look bouncing around the gym like I stole a box of Krispy Kreme’s and I’m on a sugar high. During one of our last sets Cameron told us to remember what we were here for and think about our goals. I did this as I knocked out the dreaded calf raises. Then he reminded us to push ourselves and asked if we wanted to hit our goals or just get close. This hit something very deep inside of me and I became a little choked up. It seems like most of my life I have been soooo close and just short of fulfilling so many goals and dreams. Sure, I’ve made it very far in some ventures and kicked some butt but I feel there are very few goals that I have really owned and achieved. When the going gets tough, I usually say, eh, close enough. And that’s total crap. Yes, I set some pretty lofty goals for myself but that doesn’t mean I can give up when I’m almost there. What is the point of that? Why bother setting the goal at all? Might as well just float down the “maybe I’ll capture my dream lazy river” and see what I bump into. Well, that’s just not my style anymore. Each day I realize that I have to paddle…hard…and sometimes upstream against the current but if I just keep paddling, I will get there. And it will feel SO GOOD!!
I came back from class a little emotional after looking back on all the things I had given up on before I succeeded. I checked my email quick and had a note from my Uncle John. John has always been more of a big brother to me than an uncle. He sent me a short and simple email, which is the Hagebakke way, but it just leveled me emotionally and I sat on my bed re-reading it and sobbing…in a good way though…because I felt like my journey was making him really proud of me and it warmed my heart so much. John, thank you for the email you had no idea would hit me so hard. I love you with all my heart.
Ok, I need to get to open gym. Then it’s treading (torture on a cardio machine), total body H2O and ball works. You remember ball works? The one I described as body pump on crack with a stability ball. Yeah, wish me luck. Saw a t-shirt today at lunch and I loved it so I thought I would share the saying. “Your workout is my warm-up”. I need to get one of those for the days I’m feeling like a badass.
**Jake, I tried so hard to get you the picture of two surfer dudes today at the beach! I got three in the water but I couldn’t get them all up on their boards at the same time. I promise to keep trying though. Love you my little buddy.