Who wants to try some new recipes?

I recently decided to make a conscious effort to eat better. Not like lean cuisines meals or any of that stuff. But clean, less processed, one ingredient stuff. It is the way our bodies process food as fuel the best. For the girl with a serious diet mt. dew and condiment addiction, a picky palate, this was a little scary to say the least. But I’m happy to report it’s actually going really well! I’ve found some awesome recipes that are not only healthy but insanely filling. Yes, I spend a few hours on Sunday afternoon meal prepping but it’s totally worth it. I dropped 5 pounds in the first week and feel like I have a lot more energy. I’m even eating whole wheat (homemade) bread. Say what??? If you want to try any of the recipes you can find them, along with many others, on my Testing Trendy 1, 2, 3 blog!

 

PIVOT!

My Fitbit goal is 10,000 steps a day. Some days that’s hard to reach when you’re sitting at a computer on meetings for 8-9 hours. But I’ve been crushing it this week. I had 56,994 steps Sunday-Tuesday. Yesterday, I wanted to take it over 20K. My arms were pretty sore when I woke up from various H.I.I.T, kickboxing and Tabata workouts I’d been doing the last couple days so I decided I’d take my new Asics to the gym and do a 5K on the treadmill.

I know new shoes aren’t always like walking on a cloud but this was terrible. I only lasted 30 minutes and I had to jump off. I went into the locker room and my heels were raw and red. Say what? I always buy Asics for my workout shoes. It’s the only shoe I’ll work out in. It hurt so bad I took them off in the car and walked across the driveway and into the house in my socks, even though it was 35 degrees and drizzling out. I’ll spare you the pictures of the nasty blisters that formed in the next few hours.

Anyway, I got some stuff done around the house and went in the kitchen to make dinner. My plan was to warm up a hamburger I had grilled the night before and to make some sweet potato fries. But alas, my sweet potato had gone bad. So asparagus and roasted carrots in the air fryer to the rescue.

When I finished dinner I started flipping through Youtube and different workout channels on my Roku trying to figure out what I was going to do to make up for the treadmill 5K that I couldn’t complete. I bet I flipped past 70-80 different workouts in that 15 minutes. Nothing sounded good. It was beginning to stress me out. For once, I listened to my achy, tired body and laid on the couch. I turned on some music and just laid there breathing and listening to music and not thinking about much of anything else. And apparently, I fell asleep.

I woke up on the couch at 7:30 and do you know which workout I ended up doing? NONE! I worked on a project for my friend’s birthday. I reminded myself that my step goal was 10K and I was over 16K. I told myself this is a marathon, not a race. There is no actual prize if I win the Fitbit challenge for steps every day, besides my foolish pride and competitive nature. My body needed a night to recover. So I did a 10 minute stretch before bed, barefoot, and called it a day. And that’s A-O-K!!

Days don’t always go the way we plan them. Meetings get moved. Tiny work crisis’s pop up out of nowhere and demand your attention. Workout intentions get foiled. Your body fights back. Food goes bad. Friends or family call and need to talk. But we’ve gotta roll with it. We gotta be flexible. We gotta pivot. Give yourself some grace. Get up the next day and give it your best. That’s all.

P.S. I hope someone reading this saw "pivot" and thought of the Friends episode when Ross buys the couch and is trying to move it up the stairs. 😄

Remember me?

It’s been 7 years, 2 months and 1 day since my last blog post. I’m surprised I even remembered my password to log in. Sitting down to write this was a bit terrifying. Facing cold hard truths and putting yourself out there usually is. I’ve gone through a lot since the last time I wrote here. Hell, I know we all have! For me the biggies have been the nuclear after-math of my divorce, 3 moves, surgeries, being diagnosed with an auto-immune disease, severe bouts of dark depressions, an unimaginable betrayal by someone I considered one of my absolute best friends, family feuds and a global pandemic which thrust me into working from home the last two years and has forever changed the term "normal". I’ve lost friends, lost loves, lost grandparents. And somewhere in the thick of it all, I lost myself.

And yet, I’ve found a new me. A better me is blooming. In the last 9 months I’ve made some big changes and for the first time, in a long time, I can say I’m happy. I’m at peace. I’ve removed a lot of toxicity from my life. I’m working on self-love and forgiveness. I’ve been doing some brutally honest and painful self-reflection. And I love it. I’m healing. I’m working on growing and being better every day. And while I know I’ve grown a lot from the person I was last year, there’s days I still feel weak. For me, weak is an umbrella for many emotions but there is literally no feeling in the world I hate more than feeling weak. If I’m being completely honest, there are tears in my eyes right now, threatening to spill over as I write this. But that’s not the kind of weak I’m talking about. We all need a good cry occasionally. I just didn’t plan on one today.

This weekend I started thinking about times I felt the strongest in my life. There were many to chose from. But it was easy for me to pinpoint a certain time where I felt invincible. And that time got me through so many hard times after that. I drew on that strength for years and I had to stop and ask myself a few days ago, why did I stop?

It will be 10 years next week since I spent the month of April as a “year of you winner” at the Biggest Loser Resort in Malibu, CA. Those four weeks would change my life forever. I knew that every minute I was there. But the last two years, I forgot. Or chose to block it out. For those that have been with me since the beginning, I lost 112 pounds. Since 2018, I have gained back 56. Freakishly, exactly half of what I lost. I wasn’t oblivious to it. I watched it happen. A pound here. Two there. Waving it off as the holidays or vacation or whatever the excuse of the week was. Telling myself, next week I’d get back on track. But I didn’t. It shouldn’t be that hard to find the map again, right? But it is. I think part of me didn’t want to. Why? Because doing nothing is easy. Floating along on the lazy river of life is easy. But here’s the thing. It doesn’t get you where you want to go. You just float in circles, over and over again until the ride is over. And I’m sick of the same ol’ view.

I am enough. I am strong. I deserve every happiness. I am the only one who’s been standing in my way.

Four weeks

Today is four weeks since my surgery and I can FINALLY say that I am feeling back to normal. I still get tired easily but I'm able to push through.  Yesterday I felt like old Lyndee again.  I got well over my 10,000 steps, did my first light strength training (arms & abs), stayed under my calories for the day, logged everything I ate and got in quite a bit of water.  Hooray for feeling human again.  I restart my 8 week trainer sessions on February 28th.  Until then, I'm working on my own strength training to get me ready for it. Also, been enjoying my fitbit challenges with my awesome friends.  I credit my competitive nature to my mother's side of the family.  Gotta love those crazies. I have 11 pounds to go to my first weightloss milestone/goal.  And I have another number in mind for April. No matter what life throws your way, adapt and keep on keeping on, people.  Find a way to do it rather than excuses.

2015

I have had a couple people ask me how the training is going.  Sadly, it's not.  For those of you that don't know, I had an emergency appendectomy the night of Christmas Eve.  I woke up that morning at my parents house in a lot of pain. I didn't have fever or vomiting so I took some tylenol and tried to shake it off.  Needless to say, by the time my sister and dad forced me to go to the hospital at noon, I was in serious pain and bad shape. They had me in surgery to remove my appendix by 6 pm.  A hospital bed, morphine and nurses in and out of my room every hour was not quite the holiday with family I had been dreaming of.

One of the first questions I asked my surgeon was what about my workouts.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  He said that I couldn't lift, push or pull anything over 5 pounds for at least 3-4 weeks or I could tear out stitches and cause damage.  Sigh.  So there I sat over the holidays, my little nephew staring up at me wondering why I couldn't pick him up and carry him around and play with him like normal.  It broke my heart to see those big blue eyes looking up at me so confused.

Luckily, my trainer is awesome and even though I was only able to do 2 weeks with her before my surgery, she knows that I am committed.  I will be able to pick up the next 8 week session starting February 28th.  And I can't wait!!!! I hate this feeling of being exhausted and in pain.  I just want to feel better and continue getting stronger.  I am able to do some walking which has saved my sanity and I try to get at least 30 minutes of cardio in every day.  I can't go super fast but I can still get my steps and stay with my friends in our Fitbit Workweek Hustle contests.

The plus side is I didn't gain any weight over the holidays like they say the average person does.  I'm trying to look on the bright side.  So far 2015 has been challenging emotionally and physically as I heal from surgery, go back to work and had my divorce finalized yesterday.  As always I'm forever grateful to great friends and family that have helped me through my recovery and provided lots of mental and physical support.

Here's to 2015 taking an upswing in the days and weeks to come! Now, if the temperature would just rise above 0 here I would be oh so very happy.  Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and new year.

Trainer time

It's no secret how much I loved training with Scott, aka Boss.  It gave me great accountability, guidance and motivation.  Alas, those days are long gone since he is no longer a trainer and I'm at a different gym anyway.  So I decided, since I haven't done a very good job of staying on track and sticking to my strength training and such on my own...it's time to get another trainer.  Gasp! I bit the bullet this week and signed up for small group training at work.  The trainer for the time I chose is a woman.  That will be a first for me.  Hopefully my group will be awesome and we can all grow and support each other, even though people could be crabby at 6 am on Monday and Wednesday mornings.  But I know that once I get through it, I will feel much better and have more energy for the day. So, here's to bright and early mornings, a new trainer, 8 weeks of focus and trying new things.  

Check it at the door

I was having one of those mornings where I tried on 18 outfits, hate them all, felt like a heifer and went with a frumpy sweater to conceal my insecurities.  When I was in Vegas last week and the weather was delightful and upper 70's I found myself in short sleeve shirts and in the city of lights and mirrors, was terrified at how un-toned my arms were.  Let's just say, my self-esteem has taken a beating the last week or two.  I think it's the cold that makes me crabby.  Anyway, this morning was one of those mornings where I had lost total perspective on how far I've come.  And then, my timehop app sends me some photos from 5 years ago.  And WOW! I don't even recognize myself in this picture (far right in the black shirt).  I look like I swallowed a basketball and a few small children.  Who was that girl? I mean, I know it's me, but I don't remember looking like that.

This is a more recent picture taken with Audra and I have to say, I've come along way.  

And I'm glad that timehop reminded me of that today.  I think it's something we all need.  No matter how slow you feel like you're going, as long as you're going in the right direction, you are winning! Amen.  Carry on, people.  Have a great weekend.  

Oh my aching feet

Who's exhausted tonight? This girl!! But I'm proud of my fitbit stats today! 

A Little Lyndee Time

I took a little Lyndee time this weekend.  Packed up some of my dearest friends and we headed to my favorite cabin tucked away in the bluffs of NE Iowa.  We were all looking for a little zen and relaxation and we found just that! On the drive back my face was sore from laughing so hard for three days.  We shared many laughs, made some soups in the crockpot, had a few cocktails, looked at the stars, had a bonfire and we explored the beauty of home, or what I like to call "God's Country".  On Saturday we went to Decorah and hiked up Palisades Park and back down.  What a view!!! We followed that up with some exploring of the Ice Caves and Dunning Springs.  The weather was perfect and so was the company.  It's amazing what some fresh air and beautiful scenery can do for the soul! I returned to Des Moines feeling rejuvenated and focused.  And reminded of how much I love hiking and miss my daily hikes at Biggest Loser in Malibu.

Here are a few pictures from our hike.  They don't really do it justice but it's the best I could get on my iPhone.

Fitbit

Now that's more like the weekly stats I like to see on my fitbit! Rocking it out and focusing on my 10,000 steps a day.

Challenge complete

Remember the other day when I said I was going to do the Jillian Michael's Card Challenge Workout? I did it! With a little help from my friends.  Audra, Molly and Jamie came over yesterday and did the workout with me.  I'm not going to lie, there were parts that were a bit brutal.  Like when you flip four diamond cards in a row and think if you do one more pushup, your arms might fall off.  But it went fast! We put on some music, i flipped the cards and blurted the meaning and away we went.  It was a great workouts. I am feeling it all over my booty and thighs today.  The reward for my friends going along with my crazy challenge?  I made them a healthy dinner.  Chipotle bbq turkey breast, mashed potatoes and fresh green beans.  We even took a short walk afterwards.  It was a great night.

Personal best

Finally, I am ahead of Kara in the steps for the week.  It took a lot.  How much you might ask?  This much!

I'm super proud of these numbers.  It's my highest steps for one day to date.  So boom! Lyndee likes that. And what else was awesome about this day?  I got to do many walks with numerous pals.  It never seems like "working out" when you are with somebody that's awesome.  So thanks to Audra, Melody and Molly for some great steps together last night.

Jillian Michaels Card Deck Challenge

A few of my close friends and I have an 'accountability' secret group page on FB where we can post our victories, share ideas, recipes, vent and generally just support each other on our goals to become healthier women. Today I threw down this challenge for the group.  And now I'm sharing it with you.  Here's the deal...deal...get it, deck of cards, deal...anyway...

Do this workout by the end of the day Monday, September 22nd. You have 4 days. No equipment needed, except a deck of cards. I'm going to change out squats for reverse crunches. When you finish, post a picture of you and your deck of cards. It will be fun!! 

You don't have to post a picture but it would be a lot cooler if you did.  But you can just comment when completed if you wish.  

Walk the walk

It's been a while since I've had a great steps day.  I'm doing well at hitting my minimum of 10,000 most days but it's been some time since I felt like I kicked some butt.  Yesterday was one of those days.  Most of my lunch breaks are spent walking the downtown skywalks with my Aunt Melody.  On days our schedules don't mesh, I'm fortunate enough to work for a company that has lots of fitness equipment and classes in their on campus gym.

My home gym fun has been foiled by a rotten roof that leaked into the basement.  But that should be repaired sometime this week.

Summer in Iowa has come to an abrupt end and fall has set in.  To me, there's nothing better than jeans and sweatshirt weather.  Last night Audra and I did a few laps around Copper Creek and it was absolutely perfect out.  Today is supposed to be equally awesome weather-wise.  This weekend I'm trying to round up the troops to head to Ledges State Park and do some hiking and a picnic.  Fingers crossed it doesn't rain so I can finally get my hike on again.  

3000 miles

Remember how I said I wanted to "walk" from Iowa to California on my fitbit?  Well hooray for me! Got my 3000 mile badge yesterday.  No wonder my feet hurt.  Wasn't there a terrible Nicholas Cage movie in the early 2000's called "3000 Miles to Graceland"?

Been putting the finishing touches on my home gym the last few days.  It's coming together pretty well. I have a stepper, agility ladder, kickboxing bag, jump rope, free weights, stability ball, medicine ball and yoga mats for crunches, squat stations and so on.  I think it's going to be awesome.

Airplane victories

There was a time when I flew a lot and I hated it.  If you've ever been overweight and traveling on a plane, you can surely relate.  If you haven't been, rejoice in that.  Airplane aisles are tiny.  Even "normal" size people often have to turn sideways to make their way down them.  Seats are piled on top of each other and a person that is overweight can't help but "spill" onto the people next to them.  Middle seats suck the worst, then aisle.  I always requested a window seat if I had a choice.  Also, there is the issue of seat belts.  It wasn't that long ago that I found myself in tears on a plane, literally shoving and willing my fat to jiggle into a mold that would allow the seat belt to fit without requesting an extension.  I believe it is one of the most humiliating things one can go through. Or worse, if they charge you for two seats on a place because you are too big.  I never had to pay for two seats but I did have many times where I could barely buckle my belt.  I remember once having a snarky size 2 stewardess tell me very loudly that she could go get me an extension. The other passengers watched me, some with pity, some with disgusts as I jammed myself into that seat belt, barely able to breath. I refused to get an extension.  Even though I'm over 100 pounds smaller now, I still feel that anxiety when I go to get on a plane.  Old habits die hard, I guess.  When I left for my work trip on Monday, I was very pleasantly surprised when I went to buckle up for safety.  It not only fit, but the excess seat belt flowed to my knee.  I had a good 6 or so inches of seat belt left over.  It was an amazing feeling.  

While away for work I was sure to work every day on getting my steps.  Monday night it was storming and I was 1500 short so I walked in place in my hotel room until I got my 10,000 steps and then did some crunches before bed.  Tuesday I did one of my afternoon conference calls from the treadmill in the hotel gym.  I walked to and from dinner. I walked around the building on breaks. And then, IT happened. My fitbit battery died!  Yes, it died and I forgot to pack my charger with me.  Oh the horror, right?  It died at 9371 steps for the day.  So even though I know I got well over 10,000 steps yesterday, it will not show it in my app or on the leader board. And today will be a big fat zero.  Yes, I'm obsessed with my fitbit.  And yes, there are worse obsessions I could have.  I will make sure not to travel without packing my charger again, that's for sure.  And hopefully next time I travel, I won't feel like I'm battling pneumonia.  

As I sit here in the airport, I don't have anxiety about boarding the plane to go home.  I know the seat belt will fit fine.  And my body will be comfortable in the seat.  I can't wait to get home and back to my routine, work, workouts, preparing my own food, walking with my friends and sleeping in my own bed.  Is it heaven? No, it's Iowa.  And there's no place like home.  

That lady's secret

It’s a lovely Sunday night in Des Moines.  Just unwinding from a fun filled weekend back home with my family.  Unpacking my bags and repacking them for a business trip the next few days.  There will definitely be challenges ahead since that will make one full week out of my routine of workouts and packing my own food every day.  Not to mention last week was the Iowa State Fair.  Whoa is me.  Monday I enjoyed some cheese curds and half a gyro.  Tuesday I managed to spend the afternoon at the fair without eating any fair food.  We are chalking that up as a total win.  The good thing about wondering around the fair and doing scavenger hunts for work, is that I got lots and lots of steps.  I know the next few days will entail lots of eating out and catered food but all I can do is make the best food choices possible while I’m gone and try to hit the gym at the hotel a few times or explore the city by foot. 

As I have already disclosed on here I’m currently going through a divorce.  No, please don’t say you’re sorry.  I’m not.  Nothing could be closer to the best thing for me.  Sometimes, no matter how much you may love a person, you have to wake up and realize that they are quicksand.  I finally pulled myself out and have found peace and joy.  To commemorate the impending divorce, I decided to get a tattoo.  I know, really, Lyndee?  The girl that thought tattoos were “so gross” just inked her 4^th one.  I put it on my arm so that I could read it every day.  It’s a message that has rang true for me not only through the divorce, but also with my weight loss, work, writing...really any goal I’ve set for myself.  It’s an infinite symbol that says “she believed she could…so she did”.  Because we all know that I’m a very big fan of believing anything is possible and if you work hard and do the right thing, good will come your way.  So this is my forever mantra that will be with me until I’m no longer.  I really love it.  And my super supportive and awesome BFF got a matching one as well.  Which makes it even more special. 

Today I had a near panic attack at the mall.  I had to go buy bras.  I dread shopping like no one’s business.  But my friends convinced me that I had to go get some new bras and they had to be quality.  As any woman knows, the "girls" are often the first to go when it comes to weight loss.  It’s not TMI, it’s just the facts.  So anyway, Molly pushes me towards that overly pink store the world refers to as Victoria’s Secret.  I’ve never been able to buy anything in this store.  Ever.  To me this is a skinny person store and the sales ladies kind of freak me out.  But that’s an entirely different blog post all together.  Anyway, I go to Victoria’s…by myself…and the first worker does what I expected and kind of gives me the “what is she doing in here” look as if to say, she must be buying perfume and not undergarments.  I actually turned to leave when a different sales lady blocked my exit with big brown excited eyes.  “Hey, sweetie, how can I help you today?”  Oh crap.  I’m cornered like a honey badger.  I debate pushing the half-naked mannequin on top of her and jolting for the door but instead I suck it up and tell her I need to get measured for a bra.  She takes me back, measures, runs away and before I know it, she is shooting my size bras over the dressing room door like a crazy person. Can we say sensory overload?  I try on the first one and I have to admit, it’s nice.  In fact, it’s awesome.  Then I look at the price tag and nearly faint.  Yeah, I’m cheap.  I try what seemed like a dozen different styles, make my selection and exit the dressing room.  I successfully survived my first shopping experience at Victoria’s Secret.  Today is a total victory.  

Checking out LIfetime

Last night Audra and I went with Molly as her guests to the new monstrosity that is Lifetime Athletic Club in Des Moines.  Here’s a picture if you haven’t seen it yet. 

It was a bit mind boggling to say the least.  This thing needs its own map! Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very nice facility with state of the art everything.  I’m just not used to all the perks of a health club like that and the people in suits and the fanciest locker rooms ever.  We did a class called TCX.  It’s described as “Athletic and intense, TCX features an ever-changing series of intelligent progressions that hit every muscle group”.  And hit every muscle group it did! There were a lot of lunges, planks, mountain climbers, burpees, etc.  We used the step, hand weights, yoga mat and a weighted ball.  My legs and arms were jello the rest of the night.  Which is a good thing. Today my arms still kind of hate me.  Tonight Audra and I are going to do Insanity at the Y so I hope my muscles will rally. 

Also, mad props to my Auntie M who is kicking all of our butts on the Fitbit steps friend list.  The girl went and got a new Flex and has been hammering it out every day.  You rock! 

What I learned with LL Cool J

Even though I’m down 99 pounds from my heaviest point, there are still days I feel like a bloated heifer.  I don’t like how my clothes fit. My muffin top looks more like a spare tractor tire.  Or a picture gets taken where I feel like I have a double chin.  Whatever it may be, we all have had those days.  It’s not often, but they sneak up sometimes.  I’m pretty sure this is an inevitable woman curse.  We never think we look good enough when, in reality, we look great and no one is noticing all the tiny imperfections…except for ourselves. 

Sometimes I need a reminder of how far I’ve come and this was definitely a good one.  While unpacking my boxes in my new house I found this oldie but goodie picture.  It’s bittersweet.  I love it because it’s a picture of myself and LL Cool J whom I adore. Can you hear my heart pitter patter just thinking about his gorgeousness?  So on one hand, I cherish this picture.  On the other hand, I look like I ate a village full of people because my face is so fat and round. I mean, seriously. It’s like skin over an over pumped basketball.  And it makes me sad to know I was that size and never realized just how large I was.  But then I looked in the mirror and I thought, we’re good.  That’s progress.  No more quadruple chins.  I do in fact have a neck.  And, wait, what’s that? Collar bones! Hooray me! I decided that I would display this picture proudly on my dresser.  I didn’t want to hide it in a box because of embarrassment anymore. I wanted it out to remind me each morning when I grab my socks and skivvies that I have come a long way.  I’m not that girl anymore. And I will continue down that path until I reach my goal.  And I’m pretty sure LL and the fat old me in the picture will be cheering me along the way.  

Two weeks

Where to start? Where to start? It’s been a busy few weeks with my birthday, 4^th of July mini-vacation, leaving my husband, moving into my new place and my Grandpa dying.  Let’s just say I’ve spent lots of time in a car the last few weeks.  And also, for the record, when you’re carrying boxes around the house and from the car, Fitbit doesn’t log your steps because your arms aren’t moving. What’s up with that, right?  Bummer. But I know I got a good workout moving because my arms were very sore so that’s a plus.  Lots of travel and moving over the course of a few days meant lots of pizza and drive thru’s. Which meant lots of fat and calories and eating quickly.  And few workouts.  My 20 year class reunion is only two weeks away and I’m 9 pounds from the goal I set for it.  My BFF and I are putting ourselves through a two week mini bootcamp of sorts and making the other accountable for logging food to get back on track.  It’s hot as Hades out so we’re opting for workouts at the YMCA instead of our usual outdoor adventures.  Here’s our schedule for the next few weeks:

Monday- Insanity class 5-5:30pm, Walk 3 miles
Tuesday-Deep Water class 5:15-6pm
Wednesday- Insanity class 5-5:30, Piloxing 5:40-6:35 pm
Thursday- Cardio/Strength class 4:30-5:15 pm, Deep Water 5:15-6 pm
Friday-Optional rest Day
Saturday-Aqua Boot Camp 8-9 am
Sunday-Walk Grays Lake


What is Piloxing you might ask?  Yeah, it’s a mix of kick boxing, pilates and ballet.  Ballet.  Seriously.  This could be my worst nightmare since I was born with no grace or rhythm.  But if nothing else, I’m sure I will be entertaining for the other people in the class to watch.  Has anyone ever tried that class? I know that the Insanity class is a butt kicker so hopefully I can survive them back to back.  Anyway, I’m hoping that our nightly workouts, plus my lunch time cardio plus watching my food like a hawk will garner some results.  Here’s to summer! Hope you are enjoying yours!