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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Daydream Believer

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am a day dreamer. My mind can brilliantly exploit every situation in my head. I overthink, overanalyze and sometimes stress about things that may or may not ever occur but I imagine in my head they could occur and then I dream up 50 scenarios how it COULD go down and then 50 solutions. I’ve done this since I was a child. I assume it goes hand in hand with my creative writing skills. The last few days I’ve been mainly focused on two of my daydreams, both of which are probably tied to my Biggest Loser addiction.
First, there is one-derland. Hitting 199 pounds. I’m very close…and have been for a while. I’m ok with admitting, I’ve been stuck in a weight loss purgatory for the last few weeks. When we started our journey almost 2 years ago, 199 seemed like a number I would never see again. It was so stinking far away. Know, I’m knocking on the door and it’s a bit mindboggling. I don’t know the last time my weight was in the 100’s. I’m guessing maybe my junior year of high school? So a mere 20 years ago? Cue anxiety music here. Just kidding. I’m really excited about hitting it. But in my head, it was going to be here in Des Moines, at Aspen, on a normal Tuesday night weigh-in with Molly and Scott at my side. Would I cry? Would I scream? Jump around? High five and hugs? Would Scott and Molly get a little teary-eyed? Would I feel like I had conquered the world and be overcome with pride? I had pictured it all and every time I smiled. Now, I realize, I likely will not hit that goal with Scott and Molly standing by my side. More realistically, that goal is going to come the first or second week I am at the Biggest Loser Resort, standing next to a trainer that I just met, in a land far, far away. And that makes me a little sad. So I guess I just need to bust ass the next four weeks and get as close as I can to that magic number in hopes that my last Tuesday weigh-in could bring the joy of sharing this monumental moment with my trainer and best friend. If not, I will just have to savor the moment on my own and be sure to send them a picture mail of the scale from Malibu.
Secondly, there is the big reveal. My return from BLR. Last night, watching the contestants return home to their family for 18 days…the emotions were overwhelming. Happiness and tears and wondering, how will my big reveal go? Will everyone be there? Will they cry? Will I look amazing when I walk in the door? Will I take their breath away? What will I be wearing? Will my muffin-top be gone? Will they be able to see that I am a new and improved Lyndee 2.0…stronger, faster, leaner and totally bad ass? I know I’m going to be so emotional on April 29
th when I finally get to see and hug my family and friends after four weeks away. Someone please remember to bring the tissues.

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