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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The BEST of both worlds

It’s funny how when I say I’m going to Biggest Loser Fitness Ridge Resort (BLR) people assume I’m going to be on the show.  When I tell them I’m not, I can see a look of disappointment on their face.  “So you’re not going to be on TV?”  No, I’m not going to be on TV.  But I can honestly say that this is the best possible scenario for me!  I love Biggest Loser and it has changed my life but I feel that she show has lost its heart and what made it so amazing.  It’s no longer a feel good show that focuses on inspiring others and making you feel all warm and fuzzy and near tears every episode.  It’s become a soap opera filled with drama and negativity.  This is not what made this show special from the start and not why so many people fell in love with it.  Having four weeks at BLR is perfect and I will tell you why. 

It’s longer than some contestants get to stay.  I’m guaranteed four full weeks.  No one can vote me off in elimination.  There are no challenges. I don’t have to share a room with a stranger or play any games or watch my back.  I have four weeks to focus on ME! Which is the point of the contest.  The Year of You.  And that’s just what this will be for me.  Four weeks of fitness and nutrition education and finding the strength in myself to persevere.  I’m not sad I won’t meet Bob or Dolvett.  I think they are great trainers but the trainer doesn’t make your success.  I do! So it doesn’t matter what activity or trainer or how many hours I will be sweating my butt off.  This is all on my shoulders.  I have no doubt I will not only succeed in losing weight but shatter so many emotional walls that I have built up over the years. Will I miss my family and friends and trainer Scott?  Of course! I can’t even fathom how much.  But another perk of BLR over being on the show?  I can have my laptop and phone and talk to people at night when I get back to my room.  I will not only have the support of everyone at BLR, but I can still pull from the love of my family and friends if I’m having a bad day or needing some extra support.  It is perfect in every way for the goals I want to accomplish and also to celebrate how far I have come.  I couldn’t ask for anything more.  Well, except to take Molly with me but I know she will be here with Scott kicking some serious tail as well. 

Some have asked me how I could just leave or “abandon” my family and work for a month.  Yes, they have used the word abandon.  But that’s not what I’m doing.  I have spent most of my life trying to please and take care of others.  This is one month for me.  And taking this month for me will make me a better wife, step-mom, sister, daughter, friend and co-worker.  I truly believe that because if I can find some inner happiness, that will flow into all my relationships and every aspect of my life.  I’ve always played the happy-go-lucky fat party girl.  There were times I really believed I was happy.  But you don’t get to be 306 pounds by being happy and you can’t pretend it doesn’t have a negative effect on your life.  It is time to face my demons and strive to become a better person.  If I can’t truly love myself, I can’t love everyone around me the way I should.

Another perk of this amazing gift? Making new friends.  The other winners and I have been in constant communication regarding our blessings and this opportunity. I have found a wonderful support system within a group of 10 strangers that are starting to feel like family.  I can only imagine how strong the bond between us will be when we all finish our month stay.  Only we can understand the feelings that are raging through us since the day we got the news and it’s so nice to have them to share it with and bounce ideas and ask silly questions.  I hope that one day we can all come together, face to face.  Their excitement and dedication motivates and inspires me every day and for that I am so thankful. 

53 days and I’m going back to Cali…


Kelly Jo said...

Great blog entry! Especially that last paragraph ;-) Glad we all have each other throughout this!

Caryn said...

I want to find those that said abandon or even implied it and knock them down!! Ugh! There is that negative attitude! I wish I too could join you!! Sounds awesome!! You have a great time and know true friends are rooting for you and know you are being self-less in this endeavor! Wow take care and I look forward to reading all you do and gaining more knowledge!