Strong again

Yesterday was a good day.  In fact, one of the best I’ve had in months. I managed to get in three great workouts and did well on my food.  I went to the gym at work over lunch and did 2 miles of cardio, joined Molly for a Turbo Fire workout after work and then headed to Runnells for an hour long, and final, Warrior session.  Todd spared no punches to make our final workout one of the hardest yet.  For example, towel pushes.  Have you ever done these? This was my first time and may possibly be one of my least favorite moves ever.  You have to go in a bear crawl position and push a towel the long way across the wrestling mat, from wall to wall.  It stops and sticks and doesn’t move very well to put it mildly. I was cursing, dripping sweat and sometimes falling to my knees when my towel came to a sudden stop.  You had to go from wall to wall and then sprint back to your partner, then wall sit while they did the same.  My poor partner Kara had to wall squat the entire time I tried to push that stupid towel across the mat.  I’m sure her legs are burning today! There was eight band exercises that we did in sets of 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 and 5 reps, kettle bells and tons of cardio including running, mountain climbers, burpees, bear crawls, jumping rope…you name it.  I remember in high school watching the wrestlers run laps around the wrestling room and thinking how weird it was.  After running probably close to 100 laps around the wrestling room last night, I have a new found respect for what they were doing.  That crap is no joke.  According to my fitbit I had over 15,000 steps yesterday and went nearly 7 miles.  I had one of the best burns I have had in weeks and it felt good to fall into bed last night completely exhausted. 

Tonight after work I have my session with Scott and Molly at Aspen.  My arms are already sore so that should be interesting.  The point is, I felt great last night. I felt strong again and it was nice.  I feel good today knowing that I rocked it out yesterday.  I’m hoping I can get back into the habit of doing that daily.  It’s nice to feel proud.  

Motivate, dominate, destroy

Motivate, Dominate, Destroy

Tonight is the last night of Warrior. I’m quite sad about that.  I will miss the wrestling room torture and seeing my dear friends I have made out in Runnells.  I will be going back to some classes at the gym like zumba, kickboxing, doing my mountain and treading routines from Biggest Loser Resort and continuing on Thursdays with Scott and Molly so that will be fun.  I really need to get a focus back on my cardio and intensity. 

Molly and I have always used the phrase “motivate, dominate, destroy” to fire us up for our journey to healthier people.  I don’t feel like I have had any of these three things working for me in the last few months.  My husband knows I’ve been struggling and has tried to help me repeatedly.  He’s in a very tough spot as a man because although I want his undying love and support, I do not want him to be honest with me when I suck.  It’s a very tight rope he is forced to try and walk.  In reality, he can’t really win because I’m an emotional freak some days but he continues to try and motivate me in ways that won’t deflate my mind or make me mad.  Today he sent me an email with a picture of my Biggest Loser Resort homecoming, rocking my little black dress and asked me not to forget how strong I was and how great that felt.  

He also sent me a little equation to keep in mind with our theme.  It’s simple and true.    

Motivate=emotional - what if u can?

Dominate=mental - convince yourself that all obstacles can be overcome (I.e. food, distractions, inhibitors)

Destroy=physical - pushing the limit ceiling higher and higher. Owning what's rightfully yours.

Motivate, dominate, destroy=RESULTS

I’m going to try and get a small group competition or collaboration, if you will, put together with some close friends and family.  I know I could sure use some motivation and accountability for the next 10 weeks to get through the holidays. What do you do over the holidays to stay on track?  

900

900. That's a pretty big number.  Well, that's the number of reps we did at training with Scott last night and I am feeling it today.  Scott counted up 800 but he forgot the last set of situps were doubles (left knee, right knee).

100 sit ups
100 pull downs
100 squats
100 lunges
100 stupid hammer press chest things
100 shoulder presses
100 leg presses
200 sit ups

Today I'm going to try not to laugh, breathe to deeply or lift my arms to avoid the soreness.  That should be easy, right?

We spent a lot of time last night talking about motivation and what we need from him and why we keep sliding backwards. He asked a lot of questions and unfortunately I had very few answers.  They were questions I had been asking myself for awhile now on why I can't seem to get that fire back and really buckle down like I had done for so long with much success.  I hate not being able to answer him or myself.  I hate not knowing why some days, I just don't do what I should be doing. These days I'm just going through the motions and I don't know why.  It's very frustrating mentally and physically.  He reminded me that every day is a new day to do it better.  Don't worry about what I did yesterday or what I'll do tomorrow.  Just do today the right way.  I think that's pretty good advice.  I hope everyone has a happy Friday and a wonderful weekend.

An inch at a time

I walked into Warrior last night and was so excited to see battle ropes and agility ladders among the Bulgarian bags and weighted balls.  Only Todd can turn two of my favorite pieces of gym equipment into pure torture devices.  There was an entire circuit of exercises and my last station was the ladders. Two minute drills of bear crawls, then squat jumps in the box, squat, and then in-outs.  There were three ladders in a row.  Two minutes had never seemed so long.  And then we got to the "cool down" which was bear crawls, army crawls, guerrillas and I'm forgetting one I think.  My mind went blank at that point. I didn't know if I was going to puke or cry. Then I looked over and saw the lady next to me struggling.  I could tell she was about to quit, just like I wanted to do.  I tapped her on the arm and told her we were almost there and she could do this. I said, "let's do it together".   And we did.  Both of us finished, even though we were much slower than the rest of the class. That didn't matter at all. It was only important to me that we didn't quit.

There have been many times in my journey to a healthier Lyndee that I've wanted to quit when it got too hard, but I don't.  I may be going slow but I'm still going an inch at a time.

Warning: Weekend ahead

Good news, we're going back to an evening workout time with Scott.  Very excited about this as getting up at 4 am on Thursday mornings was a bit painful.  And with winter rolling in I'd much rather give the snow plows time to do their duty before I hit the 20 miles of highway each day.

The weekend is upon us and this is always my setback.  I am trying to be prepared for this weekend so it's not my normal disaster.  We are hosting some friends for dinner tonight.  Rob is smoking ribs and I'm searching to find some fun and healthy sides I can pair with it.  Sunday morning we are having his mom over for breakfast rather than hitting the brunch buffet so we can have a bit of control over what we take in.  I'm going to do eggs, bacon, fruit and maybe some rolls.  Much better than the carb and fat, although oh so tasty, brunch buffet at Crauses or Granite City.  Plus it will be cheaper and we won't have to wait in line for a table.  I think it's so cool that our mom's have the same birthday. I wish mine could come for breakfast as well but that 3 1/2 hour drive kind of puts a damper on that idea.  *sigh* Guess I will just have to wait until next weekend to see my Mom and give her a big birthday hug.  Have you hugged your mom today?  If you can, do it, for all of those that can't.  Squeeze away! Have a wonderful weekend.  Remember to shine and be brilliant.

Warrior indoors

Because of the weather and ever earlier darkness, Warrior has moved inside the wrestling room on Monday and Wednesday now.  I have to say, it's awesome! It reminds me of Biggest Loser resort.  Quick circuits, constant moving, no rest and sweating your face off.  I got to punch and kick things and play with kettle bells.  These always make me happy.  And we got to rock out to some AC/DC.  Music always helps put me in the zone! The only thing I didn't like was the sweaty weighted vest that I had to slip on for the last circuit.  You put it on to do pushups and mountain climbers.  After 15 other people have worn it in a sauna type wrestling room, it is soaking wet and stinks! Blech! But other than that, the circuits are great.  There are even TRX bands! I'm still searching to refocus my food and really accelerate my workouts to the degree I was at previously but I'm feeling better each day.  Just have to make each day better than the last.  That's all one can really do.  And remind myself that the holidays are right around the corner. And we all know what that means!! Too much food at gatherings and parties and not enough exercise because of busy schedules and cold weather.  Don't wait until January to focus on your fitness and wake up at the beginning of 2013 going "oh crap".  That's what I'm trying to avoid.  Every bit helps.  Shine and be brilliant.  It's a beautiful Tuesday morning.

Running

Wow, am I sore today. It's very sad.  My abs hurt from laughing so hard Friday night with my friends.  Also, probably from the run yesterday.  We did the Principal 5K as part of the Des Moines Marathon.  I didn't train at all which was a pretty dumb move but I powered through the race and completed.  It certainly wasn't my best time but it wasn't my worst either.  I was lucky enough to get to race alongside Melody and her family "Team Beneke", which was awesome.  They are one fun family!  The bummer of the day was that they ran out of medals for finishers.  But luckily my husband and our friend Lynn were kind enough to let me borrow theirs for a picture so I could feel cool.

It was a great event that ran smoothly and was well organized.  It was so amazing to watch the marathon and half marathoners.  Congrats to all my wonderful friends that completed those races!!! You guys are all rockstars.

After lunch I went to Gray's to walk with Molly and Stephanie.  It was part of the marathon course and 6 hours after the start, there were still people out completing their race.  We told them great job, keep going and gave out some high fives.  Now that is perseverance and dedication! Holy moly! Made me feel like a slacker on my 5K.  This will be my last race of the year but I plan to do many, many more in 2013. And the hubby is hoping to do a Tough Mudder in Omaha.  I won't be participating in that but I will definitely be cheering him on.  It's crazy to think we're already planning ahead for 2013.  Where the heck did 2012 go?!?!?

Don't Quit

It’s sometimes easy to feel sorry for ourselves.  Self-pity and wanting are ugly beasts. We wonder, why is life so easy for others? Why can’t I catch a break?  Does it have to be this hard? Everyone feels like that from time to time. I know, I do.  And then things in life happen or you take part in something amazing and it sets your mind right. 

I’ve been feeling pretty frustrated lately. It’s a vicious circle of knowing what to do and doing the exact opposite and then being mad about the results.  Ir doesn’t make sense to anyone of logic but humans are not always logical creatures.  I got a call on Friday that was a little disappointing…oh who am I kidding? It was so disappointing I cried.  And on my drive back to Cresco I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  I was wondering why things don’t tend to go in my favor.  I was a little mad at fate and God and the powers that be in multiple places and wondering why the stars just couldn’t align for me. I worked hard, I busted my butt, I lost blood, sweat and tears and I didn’t get the prize.  And I was pouting and feeling miserable.  I felt like my entire weekend was going to be a loss. I just wanted to get in bed and cry and feel bad for myself.  But I didn’t.

I tried to put things into perspective.  The news I had received was disappointing but it wasn’t dead.  There were still avenues to explore.  There was work to be done and dreams to keep chasing.  With the help of my husband, some great tunes in my ear phones, and the Iowa wind blowing across my face along a lonely highway, I kept driving. I tuned my mind into alternatives and devised new plans.  I spent time with my beloved family and was reminded of my blessings.  Even when you feel down, there are ALWAYS people out there in worse circumstances.  I reminded myself that I was going home for to celebrate the birth of the adorable baby Michael.  I was going home to help someone in much more need than myself at a charity benefit for a friend of our family, Stacy. There was a benefit being held for her Saturday night with dinner, silent auction, live auction, etc. to raise money for her family as she battles severe MS.  She is 36 years old. She is the mother of two adorable little children.  She always has a smile on her face even when we know that she is suffering.  She never gives up. She’s a fighter and a shining example for everyone who gets the chance to know her.  During the auction I had my eye on a framed poem that entitled “Don’t Quit”.  I was determined to get it but it went out of my price range quickly.  And then, the lady that bought it, walked it over and gave it to Stacy.  There were very few dry eyes watching.  It was the perfect moment.  And she was just the person that deserved that photo.  It was inspiring to me to watch her be so brave and gracious and surrounded by love.  It made me know that I couldn't quit either. 

So this weekend I made my own Don’t Quit picture with the poem and a picture of me on top of a mountain in Malibu.  I am going to hang it in my bedroom to remind me every single day that I am blessed enough to wake up, that no matter how things go and what twists and turns we face, we can never quit.  Shine, be brilliant and keep trudging on.   

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 

When the funds are low and the debts are high, 

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 

When care is pressing you down a bit, 

Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, 

As every one of us sometimes learns, 

And many a failure turns about, 

When he might have won had he stuck it out; 

Don't give up though the pace seems slow-- 

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than, 

It seems to a faint and faltering man, 

Often the struggler has given up, 

When he might have captured the victor's cup, 

And he learned too late when the night slipped down, 

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out-- 

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 

And you never can tell how close you are, 

It may be near when it seems so far, 

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- 

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

If only I could move my arms

I wanted to do the Friday happy dance but I can't really move my arms today.  Doing Warrior Wednesday night and then training with Scott at 5:30 Thursday morning was possibly a bad idea.  In those 10 hours I did probably 200 push ups, 10 minutes of planks, countless sprints, shoulder presses, rows and lunges, among other devious exercises.  My shoulders, back and neck are shredded.  My thighs burn when I go down the stairs.  Yes, it's the muscles getting stronger which is great but it would be much cooler if I had a hot tub of icy hot right now. Mama mia! Happy Friday and have a great weekend! Shine and be brilliant.

Small victory's

Sometimes it's the smallest victory's that can make us feel great.  I had one of those last night at warrior.  I believe I have complained sufficiently about my dislike of bear crawls and wheelbarrow, especially in the sand. I struggle with these moves at Warrior and am often the last one to finish those exercises.  Last night we did alligator crawls which is kind of like a bear crawl but you can bend your knees?  I'm not sure how to explain it.  Anyway, I did them, with a resistance band around my waist and Kara pulling me back for resistance. I did them and didn't fall down or give up or alter it.  No one else would've noticed this and it's not finishing a marathon by any means but to me, it is a small victory that makes me feel stronger and more confident...and that's pretty cool.

Remember to watch Jennifer Livingston on Ellen today.  I saw a clip and it looks great! And she gets some fun surprises. Go Jennifer!!

Jennifer Livingston

Remember the post I had last week about the reporter in LaCrosse, Wisconsin that put together a wonderful rebuttal to a man that sent her an email saying she was not a positive role model because she was obese?  Well, the story/video went viral and Jennifer is going to be on ELLEN tomorrow!!! How frickin' awesome is that? I love Ellen more than words can say so I am super excited to watch it tomorrow.  DVR it if you must but be sure to check it out!  Rock on, Jennifer, rock on!  You are an inspiration.

Irony

I was driving to the gym at 4:30 this morning in a total daze and found myself singing along with Katy Perry's "Wide Awake".  How is that for irony?  And then I got to the gym and had to pump a lot of iron and my muscles were pretty mad at me.  Well, not me as much as they were mad at Scott.  I can't wait to see the fit they throw tomorrow when I try to use them. It's nice to have the burn back though.  And it's great to be with Scott and Molly, even if it is at an ungodly hour in the a.m.  Our goal for the week from Scott is to lose 2 pounds.  Guess I better get on that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0BWlvnBmIE

It's a cruel world

While I am not a public figure by any means, people around Des Moines and at Principal recognize my face from the stories on Channel 13, Des Moines Register and Q Magazine. Some people, like you awesome readers, still follow my blog.  I have had numerous instances where I have been judged because I wasn't losing weight fast enough or because I've gained back 10 pounds or maybe they just don't like my story.  And that's fine.  To each their own.  If you don't like my story, don't read it.  That's pretty simple.  But this story that Melody shared with me today REALLY hit home for me and I wanted to share it with all of you.  I don't live in a bubble, I realize the world is not roses and cotton candy.  I realize that many people look down on fat people.  I know that obesity is a preventable disease. I get all that. But the way in which some information or opinions are delivered are just beyond me some days.  I love the message that Jennifer has for everyone in this clip. Please, take a few minutes and watch/listen.  Think about what you are teaching your children.  Think about this in situations of bullying for so many ridiculous reasons, besides weight.  Think before you say something offensive in front of others.  Think about other people's feelings.  Just think, shine and be brilliant.  For today, that's all I ask of you.

http://video.news8000.com/watch.php?id=36335

Sleepy bear

My alarm screaming at me at 4:15 came pretty early this morning.  It was hard to get out of bed when it's just so cold in the house. But onward I trudged to Merle Hay to meet up with Molly and Scott for a 5:30 training session.  Boss spent the entire hour making fun my Packers controversial loss to the Seahawks Monday night.  He was smart though and made sure to work the crap out of our arms to the point of shaking so that I could not retaliate with physical violence.  I can tell already those bad boys are going to be sore tomorrow! So that should make painting a real blast.  Ha! Who needs functioning arms anyway?  They are so overrated.

The early bird gets the worm

They say the early bird gets the worm and I hope that is true.  As long as the worm is in the form of a steady weight loss.  Thursday Molly and I begin our 5:30 am sessions with Scott at Aspen.  It will be a change for us from our normal Tuesday night slot after 2 years but I'm looking forward to it.  I can't think of a better way to start my Thursday mornings.  Well, ok, maybe I could think of some more relaxing ways to start a morning but nonetheless, this will be good.

Had Warrior training last night. There were lots of new faces running around and following Todd's orders.  I'm looking forward to continuing that training on Monday nights and hopefully a few Wednesdays here and there, as my schedule allows.  I had planned to go to the gym tonight but it's so beautiful out I'm tempted to take my workout outside and enjoy what is probably a dwindling amount of sunny days here in Iowa.

I spent a lot of time on the phone last night and came away with two very important thoughts from two separate calls.  They may seem contradictory but in these situations, they are not.

One, take care of yourself and listen to your body! Know when enough is enough and be smart.  Dad, I love you and I'm glad that you are not being a stubborn ass or typical male and can admit when you need to slow down...finally.  Did I mention that I love you?  I can't wait to see you soon.

Secondly, go for it.  No matter what it is.  If you have a dream, be persistent.  Be smart.  Don't let anyone tell you that it can't be done. Dream, chase it and dream again.  That is what makes life worthwhile.  Others may not get what you are up to but if you believe in your heart that is what is meant to be, give it all you got and never regret that you gave it a shot.  Like I always say, shine and be brilliant.

It's good to be back!

First, here is the link to the piece Channel 13 ran about our Warrior workout last night.  Thanks, Sonya and Erin for joining us!
http://whotv.com/2012/09/18/weekly-workout-warrior-training/

Went back to Aspen with Scott last night.  It was obvious I hadn’t been there for training in weeks. I was totally out of my routine but I figure it will come back to me, just like riding a bike.  It was soooo nice to be with Boss again.  Even though our weigh in was less than stellar, I feel good about being back with him and training.  We put us through a tough workout to the point I was shaking when I walked to my car but it was awesome. It’s the good kind of shake.  And I can’t wait to go back next week and get things on track.  We will be switching from our normal Tuesday nights to Thursday mornings thanks to Molly’s mom and her willingness to trade us spots so I don’t have to kill 2 ½ hours in town after work on Tuesday nights before the workout and get home to Rob and the kids late.  Thanks, Char! 

We laid out some specific plans and talked about goals and I’m feeling good.  I will continue doing Warrior on Monday and Wednesdays as my schedule allows and throwing some Biggest Loser Resort workouts back in on the other days.  Sounds like a great mix of ingredients to me!  Now, if I can just get my food back under control, we will be golden.  

How is where you hang your sweat towel

Today’s the day.  It’s finally here! The band is reuniting.  Ok, there’s no band but Scott, Molly and I will be training together again after an almost three month hiatus.  I cannot wait to see Scott and get bossed around and sweat and curse him under my breath! Woo hoo! 

Remember me telling you upon my return from Malibu how California law forces restaurants to list calories on their menus?  I love, love, love this!  It helps consumers make much better informed decisions and is very eye opening to what you are putting in your body.  I’ve been ranting since April that I wish Iowa would do this as well.  Guess what?  Some Iowa restaurants are beginning to follow the trend.  How awesome is that?  According to KCCI McDonald’s has started posting their calories on the menu already.  My favorite paragraph is the last one about Obama's health care overhaul.  I think this is wonderful news.  Now no one can claim they didn't know that the double quarter pounder with cheese and bacon and a super-sized fry is some people's daily calorie allowance in one meal.  

McDonald's said it has started posting calorie counts on menus in restaurants and on drive-through signs across the country, ahead of a new regulation that will require the information.

The new signs are already up at the drive-through at the Ames location on South Duff Avenue.  

The world's largest hamburger chain plans to officially announce the move Wednesday morning.  It's making the change as it tests healthier menu items.

For example, McDonald's Corp. said it's testing an Egg McMuffin that's made with egg whites and a whole grain muffin.

It's also testing versions of the McWrap, which are already sold in Europe and clocks in at less than 350 calories. And the chain said it will offer more seasonal fruits and vegetables through its limited-time offers.

President Obama's health care overhaul will require chains with 20 or more locations to post calorie counts as early as next year.

Read more:   http://www.kcci.com/news/health/McDonald-s-menu-changes-already-appearing-in-Iowa/-/9356934/16575170/-/15a1yk7z/-/index.html#ixzz26p6loN9F

Runs can be fun!!

Saturday night I went to a birthday party for a dear friend.  This was anything but typical and we had a blast! She went above and beyond in organizing an amazing night.  When RSVP’ing for the party you could opt for a 1 mile fun run or a short group walk.  Rob and I opted for the fun run.  When we arrived for “packet pick-up” we received a race bib, swag bag including pamphlets, a raygun t-shirt designed for the race, cowbell and healthy snacks.  We then took an adult Gatorade shot.  There was a beautiful rendition of national anthem sung before we started the race.  It wasn’t competitive but a great way to get everyone together and active before an evening of food, drinks and cake.  There was a also a band if you wanted to sweat away some more pounds dancing.  This was such a neat idea.  Teresa has been a key motivator, mentor and friend to Molly and I so I was honored to share in her special night. 

 Tomorrow night I start with Scott again. I am so excited!! I have missed the crap out of my Tuesday night workouts with Scott and Molly.  And I’m looking forward to having that accountability of weekly weighins again.  Weird, I know.  I may also be doing the fall warrior program on Monday and Wednesdays as my schedule allows. I have a couple big projects in the work that will require much of my free time but I would love to continue to train with Todd and his band of warriors too.  One can never have too much fitness or great friends around them.  We had a group outing on Friday to celebrate our wrapping up of the summer program and it was a lot of fun. 

Remember to tune into Channel 13 WHO-TV tomorrow night for the Warrior Workout of the Week with Erin and Sonya.  We taped this a few weeks ago and I can’t wait to see the piece and for everyone to watch what Warrior is all about.  

Workout of the week

For those of you that are wondering, WHO Channel 13 will air the Warrior workout of the week on Tuesday, September 18th.  This will be on the 5 pm newscast.  Tune in and see all the wackiness that was Warrior Training with Todd and the crew.  Sonya and Erin did a great job and it should be pretty entertaining stuff.

I Remember

I can’t tell you what I wore to work last Wednesday.  I can’t tell you what I had for dinner Thursday night.  But I can tell you that 11 years ago this morning I was in the shower listening to Danny and Jamie on the radio, a normally outlandish talk show.  It was around 6 am and a beautiful morning in Los Angeles.  As the music stopped I realized that Jamie was crying. They said that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center.  At first I thought it might be a hoax but something in their voices told me that it was real.  I jumped out and ran to the tv and watched the smoke billow from the tower.  I fell into a heap on the couch.  Oh my god.  I heard the tv talk about an accident, possibly a terrorist attack…I couldn’t believe the latter.  I went to my sisters room and woke her up.  I think I woke up my other roommates too.  I returned to the tv just in time to see the 2^nd plane hit.  I cried and cried.  The words hijacked and terrorism now rung across the air waves. This was not happening, I thought.  Who could do this?  I watched people jump to their deaths.  I saw people racing down the sidewalks for their lives.  I remember they were covered in ash.  My heart broke over and over again. 

The local news issued alerts for Los Angeles saying the planes were headed here.  Panic spread that our city was the next target.  I called my mom and told her we were okay.  My roommates didn’t go to work that day but I did.  I remember being on the normally chaotic 101 freeway.  There were no horns, no music blaring, no one road raging and screaming obscenities.  It was dead silent.  With my window down all I could hear were the voices on the radio talking about Flight 11, Flight 175, Flight 93, Flight 77…I could see and hear people crying.  Everyone was in shock. Everyone was watching the sky. 

They closed down the studios and businesses in high rises in LA.  They closed down the airport. My boss still thought we should work through the day.  I told him that if I was going to die today, it will be at home with my sister and my friends, not in a tiny recording studio in Hollywood.  I left and went home to cry and watch the news and ask questions that had no answers and scream at God in my head and then pray for those that were involved.  

I will never forget that day.  As long as I live.  The fear that beat through our hearts.  The way we jumped when we heard a plane fly overhead.  The deafening silence when all the planes stopped flying.  It was a day that changed everything.  Not only am I a long ways from my former life in LA, but I’m no longer the girl I was that day either.  I guess remembering the event today kind of puts things in a really harsh perspective.  I didn’t lose anyone I loved directly that day but I felt so empty for a long time.  So today I want to be grateful and thankful for the life and blessings around me.  The incredible love that I wake up to each morning, the chances I’ve been given to make a better life for myself and my family and the knowledge that each day I strive to be a little better than the last.  Time is short.  Nothing is promised.  Count your blessings.  Live each day to the fullest.  Honor the victims.  Help those less fortunate.  Shine and be brilliant.